Wedding Diaries : Homecoming

Yipppeeeee......finally I am home....the much awaited bride-to-be has set foot in the City of Joy.The familiar sight of my mom anxiously waiting outside the airport exit....but today she had a glow, coz after all she was the mother of the bride :)

All the way in the flight from Hyderabad to Kolkata I was wondering to myself ....... what it is  that I call home. Since childhood we have moved from city to city. In all this movement, there is no real house that we have called home for more than few years. Although now my parents are settled in Kolkata, our house here is not a place which holds the memories of my growing up years. While a small country side type house in a small town Jamshedpur holds most of my childhood memories, an urban house in central Mumbai holds memories of my teenage years. So I realized that unlike many, there is no house as such which holds glimpses of my life.

Does that make me sad ????? To be honest it does not !!!! Why you ask ??? For the simple fact that in all the 26 years of my life, what has been my home sweet home is not a house made of brick and cement, but my family.

Dad, Mom, bhai and me. We have been home for each other for years. Whenever I plan to come home, its not the house that I am looking forward to but the family. So now, as I set foot into a new phase of my life, I sit and think about the years of my homecoming. Right from the earliest days I can remember, our home was always a welcome one. A home which was a perfect blend of traditional bengali attributes and a modern outlook. My mother has been a meticulous home maker. Although she did pursue a teaching career for many years, our home was the first priority. I still remember carrying delicious yummy lunch, everyday to school, and one that I was proud to open amidst friends. There was always variety and now, when I had my own kitchen in Hyderabad, I realized how difficult it is to cook, cook everyday, and cook everyday with love and innovation. I am and will always be grateful to my mom for all the yummy food I have been having over the years.......and we all know what we come home most for.........Ma ke haath ka khana :)

Dad has been the anchor of the home. When I was young I always used to chant.....My daddy's strongest :) Being dad's pet, I often got away with some big blunders. But he was also a strict disciplinarian and the value of time was instilled in us to the core. Dad used to ensure that the family takes vacation every year. So four of us went trotting to the hills in the North one year, to the temples of the South another year. Dad was also quick to transition into a friend in our teenage years. I still remember the day he had come to drop me off at my college in Rourkela, and the time of leaving he had tears in his eyes. That was the first time he was leaving his darling daughter so far away from himself. But I know realize that in all the years that I spent in his protection, he ensured that I build the strengths that would help me when I continue on this journey alone, away from his protected world. So coming home has also meant coming to my dad, in his protection, where I do not have to worry about anything.

The last and the sweetest motive for homecoming is my darling brother. Just 1 year and 10 months apart  we have always been friends. Till about the 8th standard, he was my younger brother. I remember our days in Patna, where we used to walk back hand in hand from the school  bus stop to the house. Our quarrels which were more WWF wrestling matches. Our growing up, sharing and caring for each other. As he grew taller in height, he quickly started donning the role of an elder brother, a protective and possessive one. Since many years now, we do not get many occasions to meet, earlier due to college and now due to our jobs. But in every crisis, he has been my pillar of strength, my support system and my true friend. So homecoming to me is to be able to it with my sweet little bro and chat away to eternity, his pulling my leg at every occasion, our serious discussions about important decisions in our lives and just being there for each other. I so wish we never grew up and could always be those 2 naughty kids fighting with each other on the question of whom mom and dad love more :)

So here as I spent the last few days in this house in Kolkata before my wedding, I realize I will never be away from my home. My home always goes with me wherever I am and my home is within me somewhere. Its a beautiful small home with bricks of love, cement of care and lots of fancy decorations of our sweet memories. Home Sweet Home !!!

Wedding Diaries : Bless You Dr Martin Cooper

Hmm so its almost 11.30 PM in the night and my blog post wants to bless a certain gentleman named Dr. Martin Cooper. No I have not gone crazy as my wedding day fast approaches me. Dr. Martin Cooper is an angel in the lives of people like me, who are in an arranged marriage kind of situation with distance playing the devil. Before you decide to declare this post as stupid, I shall reveal the secret........Dr. Martin Cooper was a researcher from Motorola who demonstrated the first hand-held mobile phone in the year 1973 !!!!

So now that its clear why I am going so gaga over a certain Dr. Cooper, lets study my case. So here I was somewhere towards the end of October 2010, talking to this guy whom my parents thought was a brilliant match. As is the case with most rebellious children of our generation, we usually do not take our parents' wise opinions at the first go. Although I was sure that this so called brilliant match would end up nowhere, I gave it a shot. We started with SMSs. Though wikipedia says SMS means Short Message Service, the messages slowly were growing to become short stories. Strangely though my message inbox was getting to maximum capacity at least twice a day and I constantly found my thumb aching :) So you can well imagine the kind of conversations the two of us were having through the so called Short Message Service.

Within a month it was clear that my parents were actually true and their wisdom had led them to this match, which by now I realized was brilliant :) So since things looked positive, the 2 individuals expressed their interest to meet and the families made the arrangements. But even by now, we had not even spoken to each other once. Strange ti seems but thats the power of SMS - Short Message Service !!!!

The meeting went better than expected and within a weekend the match was fixed. Parents were overjoyed and the news was slowly being passed on to near and dear ones. Now came the difficult part. The wedding date was in Aug, 2011, a good 8 months after the match was fixed. The long courtship period and the 1511 km distance between Hyderabad and Delhi. Things would have been terrible if not for Dr. Martin Cooper's 1973 invention and India's largest mobile network Airtel :)

So began the phone calls. Its not that Airtel gave us any good plan but then who really bothers in situations like this. Phone calls were now a part of the daily routine. Wake up calls, lunch reminder calls, whats up calls, I'm getting bored calls, good night calls etc and etc. Somehow people separated by a long distance always find a lot to talk over the phone, and we should all thank Dr. Cooper for that :)

Its quite strange,. but the mobile phone has become like a family member in today's times. Although there used to be the sweet hand written letters in old days, but given the hectic lives and the busy schedules, letters are a real luxury. And what better than listening to the voice of a dear one !!!

So in the 8 months of my courtship period, I have been quite a profitable customer for Airtel  :) But keeping the expenses aside, it has given me the opportunity to bridge the physical distance and get to know the person with whom I would be walking the journey of life. The long conversations, the quick chats, all have in some way helped both of us understand and appreciate each other. Through these calls we have shared each other's anxieties, problems, happy moments, day to day experiences, childhood memories and a lot more. Each phone call increased our understanding and respect for each other and by now we are both confident that we have chosen the perfect person as our life partner.

Most often in life we fail to notice the smallest of things which make our moments cherished. But if we spend a minute thinking about how it would be if these small things were absent, we would quickly realize that the beauty of life is in these small things. After all its small drops of water that make an ocean....just as small memorable moments make a lifetime.

So here's to you Dr. Martin Cooper, you are my angel !!!

Wedding Diaries : The countdown begins....

So I have been off the blogging scene for quite some time now. Now that its already July and the big day of my life is just a month away, thought why not put down the experience in a new post.

Well as all of us know, girls are rather possessive about their wedding day and want everything to be perfect to the T. So am I. So as soon as the calendar showed 1st July, I got my first jitters. Shopping, arrangements, invitations etc and etc. So much to do and so less time. Although most things are being taken care by my lovely parents, there are still quite a few things under my responsibility. But all this is just materialistic. What puts the glow on your face is the thought of getting to be the Bride !!!

Marriage is probably the most important decision in one's life as it determines whom you would spend the rest of your life with. And I have been pretty lucky in that choice. Hence the wedding day also brings with it expectations of the married life which I am confident would be a beautiful journey.

But at the moment my thoughts are hovering around the fact that I would be leaving this city Hyderabad in just under 2 weeks. Waking up to this rainy morning, I realized that I have spent a beautiful 4 years here and the thought of leaving is quite saddening. Hyderabad as a city has given me a lot of firsts, my first flight travel alone, my first house search, my first independent accommodation, my first professional achievements, my first professional dance lessons etc and etc. As I look out of my balcony into the rain outside, I get a little nostalgic about the many rains I have spent here.

Hyderabad is dear to me, more because I consider it my city. I came here on 21st March 2007 and having spent a good 4 years, I am totally in love with the city. Its a city which is very balanced in every aspect. Its modern as well as traditional. It has well defined seasons, but none too harsh, neither harsh summers nor cold winters. The Hyderabadi people are quite easy going and helpful and one would hardly find a mob gathered on roads to witness a quarrel for an accident. Its safe and I have never felt scared about travelling alone.

Apart from all this, this city has given me some of my most memorable moments. When I first came here and joined Oracle, I had my close friends from college working in the same team. But I made many new ones as well. Working late in office never used to tire me due to the great people I was working with. I still remeber the Wednesday lunch that Jithin, Prabhjeet, Raghu and I used to have. Jithin even set up a cron job sending us email reminders for the Wednesday lunches.

I rented out a house on my own and first time in my life was staying in a house alone. Managing one's own life is quite fun. Taking care of the household, doing the day to day chores, it was a sense of independence and self confidence. Most people have asked this countless times as to why I chose to stay so far away from office. But now I realize that how essential it was. Not just I became more independent, but I also learnt to do a lot of things on my own which I would otherwise have never even tried. I became more and more self assured and confident of taking uo any task and successfully completing it without seeking help.

Staying in RTC X Roads was not only a cheaper option but an enriching experience. I learnt to appreciate Andhra food only when the aunties in my apartment called me for food now and then. Getting freshly made pickles to being pampered by Andhra food, I got it all here in my home away from office. Also since the travel to office was a good 16 km one way, I explored new routes and modes of travel. There has been so much love and affection all around that the thought of leaving this place saddens me.

This city has also given me some precious friends. People of varied personalities and backgrounds, but all have left me with a lot of cherishable moments. The long drives to the dance classes to the dinners out to the crazy weeks, it has been quite a journey here. I am simply in love with the city and its people and just pray that I get to return someday !!!!

Will miss the biryani, the Hyderabadis, the Necklace Road, my office, my friends and my house.......

Will miss Hyderabad !!

Just 5 seconds

" ..... It was a turbulent flight from the take off. But mid way through it was quite peaceful and I managed to get some sleep as well. But about 25 mins before landing, it all started. The turbulence was far more worse than any I had experienced ever. The plane was shaking crazy as it was sweeping past the clouds, which ironically  looked like harmless cotton balls. I was having a tough time. Not only had I got the last seat which meant no recline and which also meant that the person ahead had reclined the seat leaving me very little room to move about, but I was slowly feeling claustrophobic making my fear increase by every millisecond. To make things worse I had a middle aged couple sitting beside who were as immobile as me. I was gripping onto the seat of the person in front, as the plane made its way through the turbulent cloudy path. All the time I was looking down, I think I was hoping to catch some small glimpse of the ground. Not that it would make any difference and reduce my heart beat, which now was way above anything I have had before, but in times like this, even a small glimpse of the ground below would have been like a little straw of hope.


Then it got worse and I experienced the most helpless 5 seconds of my life. The plane while shaking furiously suddenly fell. For about 5 seconds, the plane was falling down. Although it was not like a nose deep fall, but the suddenness of the whole fall was horribly scaring. You might think what's a fall of 5 seconds really worth. Well I was not only amazed at what all ran through my mind in those scary 5 seconds, but also how the other passengers reacted. One lady sitting diagonally screamed......and the couple sitting beside me held tightly onto each other. The fear was clearly visible on the faces of all around. I was thinking why I was suddenly so lonely. A flurry of thoughts ran through my mind in that short span of time.


Thought 1 : What if the plane crashes and I die today ? I so wish I could tell mom and dad how much I love them before boarding the flight. I wish I could hug my brother just once more. I wish I could get enough time to call all my close friends and tel them how much their friendship means to me.


Thought 2 : What if the plane crashes and I survive. But I undergo severe injuries. What if the injuries make me paralyzed for life or immobile or disabled ? Who would take care of me ? Would my fiancée still marry me ? Would I be able to look into the mirror to see myself again ? What if I become blind ?


Thought 3 : The plane would crash I feel but how do I escape. I am near the rear exit, so I should try and jump over the couple sitting beside me and then try to run out. Or I should protect my head and try to duck under the seat until the plane comes to some kind of halt.


Thought 4 : O God, please save me just this time. Please God, I do not want to die today, not alone like this. Please God, please help me. Please protect me.


The plane eventually calmed down into a smooth ride after this 5 second fall and everyone breathed a sigh of relief. I felt for the first time how fast my heart was beating. I thanked God and constantly kept looking out of the window in search of even a glimpse of land. Finally things settled down and the plane started descending towards a landing. I was the first to get out of the plane after landing,, such a huge relief I had never felt.


Later, that night when I sat down and thought about the whole thing, I realized that even in that dire circumstance, how my thought process started from a pessimist thought and culminated in an optimistic one. I realized that the urge to live is above all desires and above all fears. Another very important thing that I felt was the suddenness in which life can change. In a matter of seconds my existence could have been wiped out. There are so many things in our day to day life that we just look over. Things like :


-- Letting your loved ones know how much you love and care for them
-- Noticing the small and big wonders of nature around you
-- Appreciating the small moments of joy that fill each day
-- Life and every small and big things it gives us


Just imagine if you meet with an accident someday and lose your eye sight. How would you see the rainbow, how would you watch movies, how would you go to a store and buy your favourite clothes, how would you run around. We often get so lost and carried away in our everyday race that we stop being sensitive to these smaller details. 


So life is slowly running towards its culminating point. As time flies by, try and grab as many moments to cherish as you can, try and live as many dreams as you can, try and spread love to as many lives as you can. Try and take some time out from your hectic everyday schedules and watch life closely, coz you never know when you would not get to do this ever again........Life's Like That"