Wedding Diaries : Homecoming

Yipppeeeee......finally I am home....the much awaited bride-to-be has set foot in the City of Joy.The familiar sight of my mom anxiously waiting outside the airport exit....but today she had a glow, coz after all she was the mother of the bride :)

All the way in the flight from Hyderabad to Kolkata I was wondering to myself ....... what it is  that I call home. Since childhood we have moved from city to city. In all this movement, there is no real house that we have called home for more than few years. Although now my parents are settled in Kolkata, our house here is not a place which holds the memories of my growing up years. While a small country side type house in a small town Jamshedpur holds most of my childhood memories, an urban house in central Mumbai holds memories of my teenage years. So I realized that unlike many, there is no house as such which holds glimpses of my life.

Does that make me sad ????? To be honest it does not !!!! Why you ask ??? For the simple fact that in all the 26 years of my life, what has been my home sweet home is not a house made of brick and cement, but my family.

Dad, Mom, bhai and me. We have been home for each other for years. Whenever I plan to come home, its not the house that I am looking forward to but the family. So now, as I set foot into a new phase of my life, I sit and think about the years of my homecoming. Right from the earliest days I can remember, our home was always a welcome one. A home which was a perfect blend of traditional bengali attributes and a modern outlook. My mother has been a meticulous home maker. Although she did pursue a teaching career for many years, our home was the first priority. I still remember carrying delicious yummy lunch, everyday to school, and one that I was proud to open amidst friends. There was always variety and now, when I had my own kitchen in Hyderabad, I realized how difficult it is to cook, cook everyday, and cook everyday with love and innovation. I am and will always be grateful to my mom for all the yummy food I have been having over the years.......and we all know what we come home most for.........Ma ke haath ka khana :)

Dad has been the anchor of the home. When I was young I always used to chant.....My daddy's strongest :) Being dad's pet, I often got away with some big blunders. But he was also a strict disciplinarian and the value of time was instilled in us to the core. Dad used to ensure that the family takes vacation every year. So four of us went trotting to the hills in the North one year, to the temples of the South another year. Dad was also quick to transition into a friend in our teenage years. I still remember the day he had come to drop me off at my college in Rourkela, and the time of leaving he had tears in his eyes. That was the first time he was leaving his darling daughter so far away from himself. But I know realize that in all the years that I spent in his protection, he ensured that I build the strengths that would help me when I continue on this journey alone, away from his protected world. So coming home has also meant coming to my dad, in his protection, where I do not have to worry about anything.

The last and the sweetest motive for homecoming is my darling brother. Just 1 year and 10 months apart  we have always been friends. Till about the 8th standard, he was my younger brother. I remember our days in Patna, where we used to walk back hand in hand from the school  bus stop to the house. Our quarrels which were more WWF wrestling matches. Our growing up, sharing and caring for each other. As he grew taller in height, he quickly started donning the role of an elder brother, a protective and possessive one. Since many years now, we do not get many occasions to meet, earlier due to college and now due to our jobs. But in every crisis, he has been my pillar of strength, my support system and my true friend. So homecoming to me is to be able to it with my sweet little bro and chat away to eternity, his pulling my leg at every occasion, our serious discussions about important decisions in our lives and just being there for each other. I so wish we never grew up and could always be those 2 naughty kids fighting with each other on the question of whom mom and dad love more :)

So here as I spent the last few days in this house in Kolkata before my wedding, I realize I will never be away from my home. My home always goes with me wherever I am and my home is within me somewhere. Its a beautiful small home with bricks of love, cement of care and lots of fancy decorations of our sweet memories. Home Sweet Home !!!

Wedding Diaries : Bless You Dr Martin Cooper

Hmm so its almost 11.30 PM in the night and my blog post wants to bless a certain gentleman named Dr. Martin Cooper. No I have not gone crazy as my wedding day fast approaches me. Dr. Martin Cooper is an angel in the lives of people like me, who are in an arranged marriage kind of situation with distance playing the devil. Before you decide to declare this post as stupid, I shall reveal the secret........Dr. Martin Cooper was a researcher from Motorola who demonstrated the first hand-held mobile phone in the year 1973 !!!!

So now that its clear why I am going so gaga over a certain Dr. Cooper, lets study my case. So here I was somewhere towards the end of October 2010, talking to this guy whom my parents thought was a brilliant match. As is the case with most rebellious children of our generation, we usually do not take our parents' wise opinions at the first go. Although I was sure that this so called brilliant match would end up nowhere, I gave it a shot. We started with SMSs. Though wikipedia says SMS means Short Message Service, the messages slowly were growing to become short stories. Strangely though my message inbox was getting to maximum capacity at least twice a day and I constantly found my thumb aching :) So you can well imagine the kind of conversations the two of us were having through the so called Short Message Service.

Within a month it was clear that my parents were actually true and their wisdom had led them to this match, which by now I realized was brilliant :) So since things looked positive, the 2 individuals expressed their interest to meet and the families made the arrangements. But even by now, we had not even spoken to each other once. Strange ti seems but thats the power of SMS - Short Message Service !!!!

The meeting went better than expected and within a weekend the match was fixed. Parents were overjoyed and the news was slowly being passed on to near and dear ones. Now came the difficult part. The wedding date was in Aug, 2011, a good 8 months after the match was fixed. The long courtship period and the 1511 km distance between Hyderabad and Delhi. Things would have been terrible if not for Dr. Martin Cooper's 1973 invention and India's largest mobile network Airtel :)

So began the phone calls. Its not that Airtel gave us any good plan but then who really bothers in situations like this. Phone calls were now a part of the daily routine. Wake up calls, lunch reminder calls, whats up calls, I'm getting bored calls, good night calls etc and etc. Somehow people separated by a long distance always find a lot to talk over the phone, and we should all thank Dr. Cooper for that :)

Its quite strange,. but the mobile phone has become like a family member in today's times. Although there used to be the sweet hand written letters in old days, but given the hectic lives and the busy schedules, letters are a real luxury. And what better than listening to the voice of a dear one !!!

So in the 8 months of my courtship period, I have been quite a profitable customer for Airtel  :) But keeping the expenses aside, it has given me the opportunity to bridge the physical distance and get to know the person with whom I would be walking the journey of life. The long conversations, the quick chats, all have in some way helped both of us understand and appreciate each other. Through these calls we have shared each other's anxieties, problems, happy moments, day to day experiences, childhood memories and a lot more. Each phone call increased our understanding and respect for each other and by now we are both confident that we have chosen the perfect person as our life partner.

Most often in life we fail to notice the smallest of things which make our moments cherished. But if we spend a minute thinking about how it would be if these small things were absent, we would quickly realize that the beauty of life is in these small things. After all its small drops of water that make an ocean....just as small memorable moments make a lifetime.

So here's to you Dr. Martin Cooper, you are my angel !!!

Wedding Diaries : The countdown begins....

So I have been off the blogging scene for quite some time now. Now that its already July and the big day of my life is just a month away, thought why not put down the experience in a new post.

Well as all of us know, girls are rather possessive about their wedding day and want everything to be perfect to the T. So am I. So as soon as the calendar showed 1st July, I got my first jitters. Shopping, arrangements, invitations etc and etc. So much to do and so less time. Although most things are being taken care by my lovely parents, there are still quite a few things under my responsibility. But all this is just materialistic. What puts the glow on your face is the thought of getting to be the Bride !!!

Marriage is probably the most important decision in one's life as it determines whom you would spend the rest of your life with. And I have been pretty lucky in that choice. Hence the wedding day also brings with it expectations of the married life which I am confident would be a beautiful journey.

But at the moment my thoughts are hovering around the fact that I would be leaving this city Hyderabad in just under 2 weeks. Waking up to this rainy morning, I realized that I have spent a beautiful 4 years here and the thought of leaving is quite saddening. Hyderabad as a city has given me a lot of firsts, my first flight travel alone, my first house search, my first independent accommodation, my first professional achievements, my first professional dance lessons etc and etc. As I look out of my balcony into the rain outside, I get a little nostalgic about the many rains I have spent here.

Hyderabad is dear to me, more because I consider it my city. I came here on 21st March 2007 and having spent a good 4 years, I am totally in love with the city. Its a city which is very balanced in every aspect. Its modern as well as traditional. It has well defined seasons, but none too harsh, neither harsh summers nor cold winters. The Hyderabadi people are quite easy going and helpful and one would hardly find a mob gathered on roads to witness a quarrel for an accident. Its safe and I have never felt scared about travelling alone.

Apart from all this, this city has given me some of my most memorable moments. When I first came here and joined Oracle, I had my close friends from college working in the same team. But I made many new ones as well. Working late in office never used to tire me due to the great people I was working with. I still remeber the Wednesday lunch that Jithin, Prabhjeet, Raghu and I used to have. Jithin even set up a cron job sending us email reminders for the Wednesday lunches.

I rented out a house on my own and first time in my life was staying in a house alone. Managing one's own life is quite fun. Taking care of the household, doing the day to day chores, it was a sense of independence and self confidence. Most people have asked this countless times as to why I chose to stay so far away from office. But now I realize that how essential it was. Not just I became more independent, but I also learnt to do a lot of things on my own which I would otherwise have never even tried. I became more and more self assured and confident of taking uo any task and successfully completing it without seeking help.

Staying in RTC X Roads was not only a cheaper option but an enriching experience. I learnt to appreciate Andhra food only when the aunties in my apartment called me for food now and then. Getting freshly made pickles to being pampered by Andhra food, I got it all here in my home away from office. Also since the travel to office was a good 16 km one way, I explored new routes and modes of travel. There has been so much love and affection all around that the thought of leaving this place saddens me.

This city has also given me some precious friends. People of varied personalities and backgrounds, but all have left me with a lot of cherishable moments. The long drives to the dance classes to the dinners out to the crazy weeks, it has been quite a journey here. I am simply in love with the city and its people and just pray that I get to return someday !!!!

Will miss the biryani, the Hyderabadis, the Necklace Road, my office, my friends and my house.......

Will miss Hyderabad !!

Just 5 seconds

" ..... It was a turbulent flight from the take off. But mid way through it was quite peaceful and I managed to get some sleep as well. But about 25 mins before landing, it all started. The turbulence was far more worse than any I had experienced ever. The plane was shaking crazy as it was sweeping past the clouds, which ironically  looked like harmless cotton balls. I was having a tough time. Not only had I got the last seat which meant no recline and which also meant that the person ahead had reclined the seat leaving me very little room to move about, but I was slowly feeling claustrophobic making my fear increase by every millisecond. To make things worse I had a middle aged couple sitting beside who were as immobile as me. I was gripping onto the seat of the person in front, as the plane made its way through the turbulent cloudy path. All the time I was looking down, I think I was hoping to catch some small glimpse of the ground. Not that it would make any difference and reduce my heart beat, which now was way above anything I have had before, but in times like this, even a small glimpse of the ground below would have been like a little straw of hope.


Then it got worse and I experienced the most helpless 5 seconds of my life. The plane while shaking furiously suddenly fell. For about 5 seconds, the plane was falling down. Although it was not like a nose deep fall, but the suddenness of the whole fall was horribly scaring. You might think what's a fall of 5 seconds really worth. Well I was not only amazed at what all ran through my mind in those scary 5 seconds, but also how the other passengers reacted. One lady sitting diagonally screamed......and the couple sitting beside me held tightly onto each other. The fear was clearly visible on the faces of all around. I was thinking why I was suddenly so lonely. A flurry of thoughts ran through my mind in that short span of time.


Thought 1 : What if the plane crashes and I die today ? I so wish I could tell mom and dad how much I love them before boarding the flight. I wish I could hug my brother just once more. I wish I could get enough time to call all my close friends and tel them how much their friendship means to me.


Thought 2 : What if the plane crashes and I survive. But I undergo severe injuries. What if the injuries make me paralyzed for life or immobile or disabled ? Who would take care of me ? Would my fiancée still marry me ? Would I be able to look into the mirror to see myself again ? What if I become blind ?


Thought 3 : The plane would crash I feel but how do I escape. I am near the rear exit, so I should try and jump over the couple sitting beside me and then try to run out. Or I should protect my head and try to duck under the seat until the plane comes to some kind of halt.


Thought 4 : O God, please save me just this time. Please God, I do not want to die today, not alone like this. Please God, please help me. Please protect me.


The plane eventually calmed down into a smooth ride after this 5 second fall and everyone breathed a sigh of relief. I felt for the first time how fast my heart was beating. I thanked God and constantly kept looking out of the window in search of even a glimpse of land. Finally things settled down and the plane started descending towards a landing. I was the first to get out of the plane after landing,, such a huge relief I had never felt.


Later, that night when I sat down and thought about the whole thing, I realized that even in that dire circumstance, how my thought process started from a pessimist thought and culminated in an optimistic one. I realized that the urge to live is above all desires and above all fears. Another very important thing that I felt was the suddenness in which life can change. In a matter of seconds my existence could have been wiped out. There are so many things in our day to day life that we just look over. Things like :


-- Letting your loved ones know how much you love and care for them
-- Noticing the small and big wonders of nature around you
-- Appreciating the small moments of joy that fill each day
-- Life and every small and big things it gives us


Just imagine if you meet with an accident someday and lose your eye sight. How would you see the rainbow, how would you watch movies, how would you go to a store and buy your favourite clothes, how would you run around. We often get so lost and carried away in our everyday race that we stop being sensitive to these smaller details. 


So life is slowly running towards its culminating point. As time flies by, try and grab as many moments to cherish as you can, try and live as many dreams as you can, try and spread love to as many lives as you can. Try and take some time out from your hectic everyday schedules and watch life closely, coz you never know when you would not get to do this ever again........Life's Like That"

The End

I have always been overly affected by any kind of "end" be it end of a movie, end of a tv show, end of school, college or colleagues leaving office. I often think why am I this way and slowly realized that some of it has got to do with the fact that I was constantly shifting from one place to another in childhood due to my dad's job. So there used to be these "end" things at regular intervals.


So I  was just randomly checking out videos in YouTube and found this one which was the last episode of a popular hindi serial.  Even though I have not followed this daily soap, watching the final episode kind of generated some stirs in me. The fact that something is coming to an end is always disturbing to me. And this is not the first time, I could still clearly remember, when I was in 8th the same had happened when a cartoon show i was a fan of came to an end. The show was about aliens coming to earth in search of some power which would save their alien planet. The memories are so clear that I can still picture the characters in my mind. I even remember being moody for a couple of days, kind of mourning the end of the show :)


Then the time when we were shifting from Jamshedpur to Mumbai. I had such a tough time. Leaving my old school and my friends going to a big city, the thought was frightening. So many goodbye sessions took place with my friends, so many pictures taken and scrap books filled, so many promises to forever keep in touch. That feeling of something slipping by inspite of you trying to hold on tight, sends jitters. But what has to go will go no matter how much one wants to grip at it. As a kid I always had trouble with this, I could simply never let go.


By the time I was in college, things were worse. My emotional bonds with people somehow get so deep rooted that I cannot stop myself from getting overly affected by the end of something. Final year in college and post exams good byes were an emotional trauma. I can still remember very distinctly the Rourkela railway station platform where I tightly hugged Akhila when she was finally going back home after final exams of final year. I knew that we were friends for life. I knew we would always stay in touch. I also knew we would keep meeting. But just the thought of letting go of a person who was my pillar of strength through the 4 years of college life was overwhelming. As the train pushed off, the scene was no less than a super hit bollywood movie scene, with Akhila on train waving good by and me crying my eyes out standing on the platform.


But through each and every such incident I think I have learnt slowly and steadily to let go. Now I am more confident in how I handle these situations and have an optimistic approach to them. In my opinion what is more important is to always promise yourself to never lose touch with people who matter to you instead of clinging on to physical proximity.  More so as in today's fast paced life and smaller world, more often than not, your loved ones are farther away in terms of physical distance. Hence always try to bridge that by keeping the communication on.


And not to forget every end marks a new beginning and thats what life is all about. So cherish your memories and stay close to the hearts of your loved ones. Never take any one for granted and live each day with love. This will ensure that when the last end comes, it marks an eternal new beginning !!!!

Open Your Eyes

So after a long time I got a small but very enriching Puja vacation. Did not really go pandal hopping due to my ill health but got to observe a lot. This brought back a lot of insights which I had lost somewhere in the busy corporate life. Most of this was from a weekend trip to my grandpa's town some 6 hrs from Kolkata by train.


So I was travelling in a train after a long long time. Reminded me of my childhood days when we used to go on trips every summer/winter vacation, by train. All that packing and preparations. Those days we used to travel in sleeper class. So carrying the bed sheets and air pillows. I can still remember the air pillow blowing competitions between my bro and me, my dad setting up our berths for sleeping, mom carrying odd snacks for the journey, fighitng with bro for window seats.......there was so much love and happiness in even most trivial of things. Although we didn't have the confort, we had the warmth of each other's presence to comfort us. Life was simple, uncomplicated and happy.


So as the train rumbled along the tracks from Howrah, I put on my head phones and listened to music. Music really helps my imagination to fly and my memories to roll over in front of my eyes. I could vividly picture the days when we used to come back from school and rush out to play. There were big fields and open spaces for us kids to just run around. Playing all kinds of outdoor games and getting all dirty was a daily scene :) Friends were as innocent as we were and we didnt really care about falling down and hurting ourselves while playing. I can still remember catching dragon flies, fishing for tadpoles in muddy waters after rains, playing hide and seek in neighborhood gardens...........playing was such an important aspect of growing up. There was no tension of multiple tuition classes like kids of today. We never needed expensive toys to keep us happy, all we wanted were open spaces and freedom to run around and thankfully we got plenty of that. Just makes me wonder how easy it can be to feel happy.


As I grew up, the complications in life were more. Even then, till college life was really simple, money was never a factor nor was a driving point. In fact in college we learnt that money was not at all important when you wanted to have fun, do new things, have some adventure etc. We literally used to survive on 2 digit mobile recharges and limited pocket money. But the amount of fun we had was never constrained. I think the reason why the finance never mattered was because we always did what we liked doing. So there was never a problem. I remember travelling in general compartments with friends when going on trips or fests to other colleges. Sometimes even in chilly winters, but the company of great people kept me warm and made the general compartment seem beter than an air conditioned one :)


So coming back to my Puja trip, I also got a chance to have a very enriching chat with my grandpa. He always has so many stories to tell and so many memories to talk about. He was talking about his childhood days, how they used to go to school, how they even as kids knew most household chores. I started wondering I do not even know all the kinds of vegetables and my grandpa could identify some 100 kinds of fish alone. Since they were so exposed to regular grocery/vegetable/food shopping, they know almost all the fruits/vegetables and other food items under the sun. So does my dad. But all this knowledge is slowly vaporizing with every generation. My generation prefers to go to a mall and pick up things based on their english names, there is no inspecting whether the item is good, no price negotiations, no searching 10 shops to buy one thing. We have become very used to the comfort of malls and programmed to air conditioned shopping areas. My mom talks of so many different kinds of trees and flower plants when she mentions her childhood stories, most of them I have neither heard nor seen. We are going so much away from nature that in no time all our kids will know are apples and oranges only. Makes me feel not just sad but scared....... a sense of loss.......we are losing our heritage day by day.


So all this travel back to memories of different time phases helped me realize one thing. Its not at all difficult to be happy. In fact happiness comes more often with small things than with larger lavish things. With more things come more insecurities, worries and stress. Also we should stop and do some analysis on what are the things which are really important to our happiness. It may not always be money, career or success, it may even be as small as a nice tasty meal. Its important in life to not choose paths just because someone is telling you to or because it is the most sure shot path to things which are considered important. We should walk on even deserted roads if we think we want to do so. I was reading an article in a magazine on my flight back to Hyd about 3 ladies who left their comfortable cozy lives to do things which they found real happiness in. One such lady and her husband decided to move from busy Mumbai life to a more secluded town near Nasik. They not just themselves got used to the more peaceful life of the small town but also are bringing up their kids in that environment. It really takes a lot of courage to break away from well known social stanrdards of living, but every one has just one life and what you do with it should completely be driven by what you want to do rather than what people expect you to do .


I think we should give few things a little more space in our lives, like nature. We should also never bury our dreams under ths huge load of social expectations. After all we all have one life to dream.....so its better to keep the dream on until the very last and trying to turn it into reality than just killing it.


Lastly, open your eyes is what I would say. Only when your eyes are open you will realize how many less birds you watch when compared to when you were a kid, how many less trees are around you, how many less animals you see, how much less time you give to do things which your heart wants you to do. Open your eyes and see how much less life you are living.............

Reel n Real

The 2 words from the title of this post have just a letter to distinguish their spelling, but in meaning have a world of differences. Now why am I suddenly going into the spelling ???? I am not :) Since the time I started the blog I always wanted it to be a channel to share my experiences with a virtual audience and this one too keeps that spirit alive. So what triggered this post ?


Off late I have spent some time analyzing my Reel activities, namely watching movies, TV, or just any form of media. Unlike my childhood days when all we had was Chitrahar on DD or the chance to watch a few "family" movies once in a blue moon, these days the channels and options and numerous. So what makes one pick and choose ?


I realized that all I watch in terms of movies and TV was just a reflection of my dreamy world !!!! Before we go ahead, I am NOT including news & current affairs here. So here I was sitting on a weekday, glued to the TV watching a hindi serial at 9.30 in the night. So glued that I even forgot how hungry I was !!! Now what I was watching is the usual hindi TV serial drama, not the saas bahu types, but a romantic drama between 2 people in love. The sight of the handsome well built guy romancing the beautiful sweet girl gave me goose bumps. I watched them fight, crack jokes, get angry with each other and then spend some romantic moments without even battling an eye lid. The 30 mins episode finally culminated with my hunger ringing an alarm in my brain and I rushed to kitchen to appease my tummy. Once done, I was back on internet, doing what ???? Finding ways to download episodes of the same daily soap !!!!!!!!!!!!!


I had never attempted this kind of thing in my life so far. So as a starter my ignorance started to show. Although I have spent quite some time on Youtube watching videos of the missed episodes, it never dawned on me to download them. So here I was trying ways to figure out how to download the videos. I tried my luck with Google search, but no, all I found was online viewing portals, fan pages, discussion forums. I then realized that I am not the only one :) there wre numerous others who idolize these small screen characters as much as I do. 


I read discussion posts varying in topics from daily episode analysis to fans commenting on their love for the actors. I even joined a community on Facebook of the serial AND posted a question to the fans on how I could catch hold of the episode videos !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This was really the pinnacle of the fan in me :)


So finally I did find a way and spent a good 4 hrs meticulously downloading episodes of the serial. What I learnt ? Few not so surprising things :


1. There has always been some point in a person's life when they have idolized these characters from a movie or a TV soap. I still remember the huge Hrithik Roshan poster in my hostel room.
2. There are times in our lives when we live our dreams or fantasies or wishes through these movies or TV soaps. I still remember dreaming about European country side after watching DDLJ, imagining myself in place of Kate Winslet in Titanic, wanting a similar house like Konkona Sen in Wake Up Sid and the latest, finding a prince charming like the male lead character of my hindi TV serial.
3. Through the movies/ daily soaps. we sometimes live the lives we cannot in our real lives. Things like being the heir of a rich tycoon, going on some international cruise, saving the world in 2012 etc :) The list in endless.


In short our real lives are hugely affected (if not influenced) by our reel life characters. This reel side of our real lives is entertaining, sometimes inspiring and for most times keeps our imagination alive. And this imagination forms the foundation for dreams. Yes, not all dreams arise from the reel but some do. And what is a life without dreams !!!! so dream on.


So the crux of the matter is that there is an influence of reel in our real, the intensity may vary from person to person. And this influence often gives us some unpredictable experiences, I have my share and it adds lots of colors to my life. So lets blend some reel in real and turn into a new shade of color each time. The more the colors the richer the experience !!!!


And as I always say, Life's Like That.......